generally define me, but I realize something new about myself quite frequently. I don't seek to constantly reinvent myself, yet I might not ever really know everything about me all at one time because different parts of me change, sometimes frequently; this should probably bother me, but it doesn't.I wish I was wittier, but I typically end up bordering on corny and sarcastic. I like to surround myself with people who provoke thought. I am a sucker for a sense of humor. I'm also extremely susceptible to cuteness overload; excessive amounts of it makes me cringe my fingers and say things in high-pitched tones - these are not my most attractive moments. I don't fall in love easily, I don't get attached easily, and I have to be both of those things if I'm going to get jealous easily; I can probably thank a military brat upbringing for that. I was nominated for the "Most Friendly" Senior Superlative at my second high school (I am still usually nice 10 years later).
I'm a "closet romantic." When it comes to emotion, I'm a walking contradiction. My dad instilled a sense of logic in me that generally defies most organized religion, romance and fate. As a result, I'm more of a "shit happens", National Geographic kind of person, but I actually love romance; I just hate to admit it publicly. I cringe when moments get too sentimental, yet I like to step back and absorb certain moments so that I can remember the details; I do that most often when my friends are laughing.
I don't have a very good awareness of my personal space so I often bump into things. Because of that, I accidentally shaved off the very top of the middle finger on my right hand and permanently disfigured the nailbed when I was five years old, thus destroying any future I might have had as an international hand model. I broke my right arm when I was six, and I have a permanent, dime-size, swollen bubble over the third metatarsal on my right foot. There are various scars on my legs, arms and back, and I generally have a few bruises or a twisted ankle at any given time.
I have - not so much a phobia of - but am generally repulsed by clumps of dust and hair, and I despise grimy countertops. My pet peeves tend to vary based on my mood, current social issues or my hormonal cycles. Despite a few isolated circumstances, I feel like a fairly lucky person - especially considering all of the horrible things that can happen and have happened to others in the world.
Moving to New York City nearly four years ago was the best decision I ever made.
When I used to have a kitchen with enough space for a table, I liked to read the back of the cereal box while I ate breakfast. I love Manhattan, Lox cream cheese with my Friday morning bagel ritual, weekend brunches, dirty martinis (with gin) and Pinot Noir. If I ever fell into a situation where I had to survive solely on sundried tomatoes, shelled walnuts and Jelly Belly© Bunny Corn, I would not be entirely disappointed.
I have a dark side, and I generally do not trust those who don't. Nor do I trust those who feign a dark side for attention. I'm a chain gum chewer; not a nervous habit or to break any addictions - just do. I believe that only time tells all things, and it is the one thing I firmly stand beside and simultaneously fear because it is an undeniable, unpredictable constant that both richly and unremarkably defines all of us.
A few general standards that seem to remain constant about me include the following: I like astronomy (not astrology), chocolate, cultures, horseback riding, maps, national and international political affairs, nutrition, photography, reading (for fun, knowledge or to pass the time), some sports, travel and writing ... and if you've got undiagnosed OCD like me, you'll have noticed that I listed my general interests in alphabetical order. I just do organized shit like that with minimal effort.
I randomly quote movies and rap lyrics, usually at relevant moments, but sometimes not. I'd like to sit with Stephen Hawking and talk about the mysteries of the universe over red wine and mini slices of lightly toasted bread topped with raspberry jam and warm brie cheese. I have a borderline-obsessive, but not-necessarily-unhealthy girl crush on Ellen Degeneres. And not just because Ellen's good buddies with Sandra Bullock, but I genuinely think that if "Sandy" had been born in the 80s and went to Shell Point Elementary School in Beaufort, SC, Roger B. Chaffee Elementary School in Bermuda, or Northwoods Park Middle School in Jacksonville, NC, we'd have become lifelong friends.
I'm incredibly indecisive, especially when it comes to making a choice in a restaurant. I aspire to be Vegan, but all of a sudden, I'm elbow-deep in a rotisserie chicken. Although I may not be sure of a lot of things, one thing I do know is that I gotta have more cowbell.
And, in the summer of the year I turned 30, I cycled across North America.
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