Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Confessions

Get busy living or get busy dying, as they say ... whoever they are.

I have to admit that finalizing my estimated budget yesterday makes me wish I had better researched my harebrained idea to cycle across North America in honor of my 30th birthday before I became so emotionally attached to the goal.

From a previous blog post "Challenges" on June 25 to my December 1st confessions:

Just the sight of all those zeros - while laughable to some Upper East Siders and The Real Housewives of New Jersey - almost makes my heart stop. In fact, I experience slight vertigo while punching in the estimated amounts on my calculator. Every time I hit the = button, I can feel the doubt and fear building. Fifteen thousand dollars is 1/5 of a down payment on a $400,000 500-sq ft Manhattan studio (something I won't ever likely find worth financing anyway). Fifteen thousand dollars is a year's worth of rent for my portion of a 2-bedroom apartment in Midtown. Fifteen thousand dollars is a fully-loaded 2009 Suzuki SX4 (sounds cooler than it actually is). Fifteen thousand dollars was the estimated cost per household of the economic stimulus plan back in February (I'm not really that news savvy; I googled "things that cost $15K"). Fifteen thousand dollars is the cost of a quality boob job (no comment; I'm just saying ...).

Get busy living or get busy dying? Fifteen thousand dollars to get busy biking is beginning to make me feel a little unsure about whether I'll be able to nod in the face of adversity like Morgan Freeman and confidently say, that's goddamn right.

2 comments:

Monique said...

I'd try not to focus on what you COULD be doing with that money. This is you, living...Not being crippled by the "what if's" and the "i should be's". I look up to people like you who enjoy life & LIVE it. Do u know how many times i've put off doing something b/c of the gazillion other things i could do with the money? How many trips i neglect to take b/c of what i could use that money on?? I say YOU GO GIRL on living your life!

Terrence said...

Yeaaaaaaaaa! What she said!