Saturday, July 31, 2010

Day 41: London, Ontario, to Brantford, Ontario (Canada)

Today's Mileage: 66
Average Speed: 15.0 mph
Max Speed: 29.7 mph
Moving Time: 4:31

Will the real Canadian please stand up?

Can you spot the real one?

Tonight is our last night in Canada.

The "lasts" are starting to come in full force. We've begun our last ten days. The last rest day is coming up on Monday, along with our last week, followed by our last weekend. Yesterday, we crossed our last 1000-mile mark.

I couldn't bear to crop this photo of us at 3000 miles - it might be the last time that Leo's finger partially covers my iPhone's photo lens.

This picture was actually taken closer to mile 3010, but it didn't stop us from celebrating once we realized it. We were so busy goofing around along the route, we forgot to pay attention to our odometers. It makes me wonder what our last laugh on this tour will be about.

We had a good laugh in London outside of the the Ambiance Adult Entertainment XXX Massage parlor, which was just steps from the front door of our hotel. Upon arrival yesterday afternoon, Beth and Chuck Kim entered to inquire a bit further about their services. The receptionist went into detail with an upbeat and friendly tone: "Well, we have a single's massage or we can do a couple's for the two of you, and you both can get off. You are allowed to touch the massage therapist, and - if you want - we can schedule you with two girls."

Somewhere in the above description of services, Beth was unable to hold back her laughter, which included her customary snort. After explaining that they were on a cross-country cycling tour and looking for sports massages, the receptionist said, "Oh no, honey, we don't have what you need here. We specialize in sensual, erotic massages."

Kim suggested that they walk out of the building smoking cigarettes.

According to the native Canadians on our tour, these massage parlors are not atypical for their nation. While such practices are largely illegal in the United States, further Google research revealed that "Canada, depending on province, allows certain forms of prostitution and erotic massage. One can find any number of 'massage parlors' licensed or unlicensed in Canada. The unlicensed parlors, as they typically do not employ licensed therapists, offer specifically erotic massage [read more]."

Our group could not make enough jokes about the massages last night. Daniel asked if there was a discount for men over 50, Kim said it probably costs more, and Beth added, "Yea, because it takes longer."

The gags and puns continued well through the evening and into this morning, when
Andrew and Beth posed outside of the parlor before we pedaled out of London and into quaint Canadian backroads.

I have a feeling that the London sensual massage parlor jokes are going to follow us all the way to New Hampshire. They made it to Brantford. Beth arranged to give Kim a quick yoga lesson this evening, and he showed up at our door in a towel (over his shorts, of course) - a segue between earlier jokes that had been made about erotic massages and yoga. Beth erupted in a screeching fit of laughter that sent her sprawling to the floor.

Meanwhile, Helen and Alex coincidentally arrived at the same time for a magic show that Gary had scheduled to put on in our room. At the sight of Kim in a towel, Helen asked, "Is this the magic show?"

The laughs. That is what I'm going to miss the most about this tour and this group. I wish I could have written down all of our arbitrary discussions and ridiculous antics. Today alone, there was an impromptu cherry pit spitting contest during a stop at a farmer's market, which was judged in categories of distance and accuracy; we reunited Shrek and the donkey at the fence of an old pasture; we played another round of Teresa's song game in the shuttle from dinner.

And I can't think of one dinner that didn't involve giggling hysterics, like the gastric bypass/Big Mac conversation with Beth, Daniel and Bruno or any number of the hilariously absurd things Andrew can say at any given moment - all made twice as funny by his British accent. I had to establish a no-talking clause on intense climbs to keep Andrew from saying anything that could possibly make me fall off my bicycle. Even at tonight's restaurant, Andrew and Beth created a dessert ranking system that began with an innocent 1-10 scale and evolved into a remake of Meg Ryan's "I'll have what she's having" scene in When Harry Met Sally.

There is so much that this blog doesn't tell about the people who made this journey with me. Even the scope of the things I've seen and felt have been recorded in comparatively minuscule amounts. I don't know that I've ever made so many rich memories within a 50-day time period. So many that I have to strain to try to remember them all.

I suppose this might be how it feels near the end of a life. That bittersweet sensation. Knowing there was just no way to capture it all.

More images from London to Brantford:

Click here to view my entire photo album from Day 41 [TBA].

The Ride Leader's Official Report:
Across America North:


Anonymous said...

:( :) Mixed emotions all over this one babe.
Great post

Monique D. said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAW....... :( All is well that ends well, right? P.S. Did Maddy win the chess game?